illusion

it hurts knowing that you were stronger back then than you are now. it kills me to fake my smile and laughter. i know i can never fit in no matter how hard i try. yes, i do have feelings and i care about how people around you react to me. i don't want to run away or avoid anyone due to how important they are to you. i hate being in that situation. I'm sorry but i tried really hard. I'm not really sure what else i could do to make things go better. for the time being, just let me be. just bare with me. everything hurts me. everything could make me cry. so please respect me and i hope you could understand. i love you and i know you do to but unfortunately, there are more out there who despise me. i care and i don't expect you to say anything.