if and only if..

how i wish he could understand how much i care n love him.. if only he knew how much i need him..

disturbia

im so addicted to disturbia nowadays. it seems like its describing my life for now. sigh.. i miss heikal. i miss being the old us. laugh all day and night. hang out like nobody's business. i miss those old days but of course there are lots of consequences that we have to go through to get back to it. i haven't been telling heikal how i feel lately. i guess because i don't want to burden my feelings with him. (as if he don't have enough things to do and think of) i miss hugging heikal and all the moments that we had spent together. im lonely and stressed up. i need a vacation. but how?? final's is coming and there are lots of stuff to revise and there's too little time. i so need him right now. if only i could just share this with him. everytime i confront him, the words is just not coming out. i want him.. to be in his arm would be the best thing that could happen now.

sadness

its the first day of eid. yet, i dont feel anything special bout it. something feels so wrong here. wait! is it the food? no. i dont think so. or maybe.. hmm.. the phone that im dying for? nah.. not that. oh i know! heikal's missing! yes! exactly! its been like 2 going to 3 days we've not seen each other yet i feel like years of gloomy days. sigh.. plz come home hun. miss u like .. like.. too much to describe! miss hugging n calling u dummy so much! i wouldn't want to trade that for anything else in this world. unless it's really worth it.. =) hehe. just kidding okay. hmm.. im going back to my hometown tomorrow. i dont feel any excitement like years before. i just wish u could be here n everywhere with me. cant wait for the day to come. grrr! i miss u a lot la babi!