gloomy days

i miss heikal. i miss spending time with him. just me and him and no one or nothing else would bother us. i'm really tired right now and i really wish he could be here and just be in his arms. ;(

what???

like i mentioned before, things are not going well lately. i hate to fake my smiles and my laughters. things will not be sorted out if this situation remained silent. what else can i do? i need incidents that could prove me right. yes! i need a miracle to make things right again. as for now, i feel like i don't know anyone. they won't talk neither am i. why should i? i can feel that im drafting aside. who knows why? i bet there's no one out there really understand what's inside. i'm not sure if anyone noticed my attitude lately. its better if they don't actually because it'll be easier for me to keep a distance. don't pretend anymore. come out when you're ready. i got time to hear.

dying slowly..

gee! sem break just started but i already miss going to class. i know! it's unbelievable for me to say that. i thought of looking for a part time job but.. everyone especially myself knows my attitude. i can never work under someone's order. geee.. hate that side of me.

well, things haven't been working out smoothly lately. so much things are messed up and i can't take control of the situations anymore. i just wish that one day (hope it'll be a.s.a.p) i wake up and everything just disappear and never been brought up again. i want to end all this. its a misery for me to keep it all locked up inside.

i miss my heikal. i know very well that we wont be spending much time this sem break. geee... =( how sad can my life be. im all alone with nothing interesting to do. i want my heikal.. i love my heikal and always be.